Mormon Mommy Blogs: What’s the Allure? It’s not that complicated folks!

By R. Murdock

I recently read a political article about the Romney campaign seeking to capitalize on the popularity of Mommy Blogs.  It also highlighted a mommy blog written by Mitt Romney’s daughter-in-law.  The media managed to snag some candid shots of the Romneys before the blog was made private.  While the main headlines of the story focused on a picture of Romney with messed-up hair, the writer also attempted to define mommy blogs, explain the allure and focus on the Mormon Mommy Blog phenomenon.

Popular Mormon scholar and writer, Joanna Brooks, explained these blogs as a reflection of traditional Mormon gender roles. She stated:

            "In conservative Mormon culture, having large, beautiful, well-appointed families conveys a great deal of status. It's an approved path to visibility and power for Mormon women."

 

The author of “C Jane Enjoy It” and Mormon mommy blog pioneer called these blogs mommy porn. She said there is a relentless pro-family theme. While secular mommy blogs delve into the challenges of motherhood, LDS offerings tend to keep things upbeat, portraying family life as an unadulterated joy. She sees something theological in blogs like Romney's, with perpetually-proselyting Mormons using them as tools to convey the blessings of their faith. "I mean, you put your kids down, and you go and read someone else's blog whose life is like perfection... It's almost Photoshopped, but instead of a perfect body, it's the perfect experiences."

These descriptions rubbed me the wrong way.  While I have no argument regarding those who read these blogs, they are missing the mark in a BIG way when explaining the motivation behind those who write them.

Let me explain.  For those who qualify themselves as full-time homemakers, they can attest that Motherhood is a very thankless job.  Yes, there are definitely moments of fulfillment and purpose, but the daily grind and the same-old same-old routine is not only monotonous, but sometimes feels pointless. 

Please understand that I believe there is no greater calling then being a mother.  Mothers not only fulfill basic needs, but are given ample opportunity to teach every skill that children will need to be successful in life.  A mother’s charge is to teach what is right and wrong and other fundamental principles needed to be a decent, productive and useful human being.

But these lessons are not taught in quick easy sessions.  They are taught over a lifetime through hands-on experience, life’s lessons and from a degree earned at the University of Hard Knocks.  The rewards do not come often.  Sometimes mothers won’t know if what they’ve done today means anything until their children are adults.  

What does this have to do with mommy blogs?  Are Mormon moms really trying to portray their so-called “perfect life” in the blogosphere to gain status and power in their large circle of Mormon friends and family? The answer is simple: No!  

I think the biggest motivation these Mormon moms have is to show the world what they did today; to put their work on display and say, “Look at what I made!”

Those who don’t stay at home all day with children and instead work at a desk or in an office, or anywhere outside the home, for that matter, should understand the desire to be recognized for your work. If you work with a team and complete an important presentation, or make a big sale, or close a huge deal, you want your boss and your colleagues to pat you on the back and say good job!  Maybe you’ll even get a raise or a promotion for work well done.  Likewise, if you spend a couple weeks working on a presentation you eventually reach a point when you are finished.  The work is complete and you can see the fruit of that work.

As moms, we don’t have that.  We are never finished. We can change 10 poopy diapers in one day and the baby never says, “Gosh mom, you are so good at wiping my little bum. Thanks for your hard work!”  But mothers continue their work, day in and day out, sometimes with little to no recognition. 

There are milestones in motherhood when we feel like we accomplished something: like potty training, getting a child to sleep in their own bed, or weaning a child off the binky. But who is there to pat us on the back, give us a raise and a promotion?  No one really, until mommy blogs came about.

Here we have a medium where we can throw the perfect birthday party for our daughter, take pictures and blog about it to show the world how awesome everything looked after our hard work.  Some cynical person might look at that and say, “Gee, these mommy bloggers are always trying to paint such a rosey perfect picture of their life.”  But they are wrong.  We simply want people to see what we did, and to get acknowledged for it!  The comments section of the blog is what motivates these moms.  From here they get the encouragement, praise or even advice that they need to continue to do their jobs without going absolutely insane. 

In fact, if you scrutinize Facebook or any other social media site, you will see that they are driven by the underlying desire in human nature to be noticed, to be appreciated and to be acknowledged. Is it any wonder why Facebook has become so phenomenally successful? Not really. As human beings, we crave acceptance and appreciation. It is a part of our DNA, whether we admit it or not.

Yes, as Mommy Bloggers we may take pictures when everyone is dressed up and perfect, but perhaps it’s because that is such a rare experience and takes an astronomical amount of effort to get everyone looking perfect and smiling at the same time.

Maybe they aren’t the most popular of Mormon mommy blogs, but I’ve seen plenty with half naked kids after they just finished drawing a beautiful mural all over their bedroom wall with poop.  Is this our perfect life?  No, but it’s what happened to us today and we want the world, or at least the bloggernacle, to know that despite this awful thing we had to deal with today, we didn’t go crazy! We cleaned up the mess and everyone is happy again.  Then all our friends (and for some lucky few, a lot of strangers) can go comment on our blog and say how amazing we are for handling that situation so well.  We get credit, we get noticed and we get appreciated for our work that day.

What’s the allure of Mormon Mommy blogs?  That’s simple: It’s a much deserved pat on the back!

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Original article referenced: Buzzfeed article by McKay Coppins http://www.buzzfeed.com/mckaycoppins/mitt-romney-wants-to-follow-you-on-twitter