Mormon Mommy Blogs: What’s the Allure? It’s not that complicated folks!

By R. Murdock

I recently read a political article about the Romney campaign seeking to capitalize on the popularity of Mommy Blogs.  It also highlighted a mommy blog written by Mitt Romney’s daughter-in-law.  The media managed to snag some candid shots of the Romneys before the blog was made private.  While the main headlines of the story focused on a picture of Romney with messed-up hair, the writer also attempted to define mommy blogs, explain the allure and focus on the Mormon Mommy Blog phenomenon.

Popular Mormon scholar and writer, Joanna Brooks, explained these blogs as a reflection of traditional Mormon gender roles. She stated:

            "In conservative Mormon culture, having large, beautiful, well-appointed families conveys a great deal of status. It's an approved path to visibility and power for Mormon women."

 

The author of “C Jane Enjoy It” and Mormon mommy blog pioneer called these blogs mommy porn. She said there is a relentless pro-family theme. While secular mommy blogs delve into the challenges of motherhood, LDS offerings tend to keep things upbeat, portraying family life as an unadulterated joy. She sees something theological in blogs like Romney's, with perpetually-proselyting Mormons using them as tools to convey the blessings of their faith. "I mean, you put your kids down, and you go and read someone else's blog whose life is like perfection... It's almost Photoshopped, but instead of a perfect body, it's the perfect experiences."

These descriptions rubbed me the wrong way.  While I have no argument regarding those who read these blogs, they are missing the mark in a BIG way when explaining the motivation behind those who write them.

Let me explain.  For those who qualify themselves as full-time homemakers, they can attest that Motherhood is a very thankless job.  Yes, there are definitely moments of fulfillment and purpose, but the daily grind and the same-old same-old routine is not only monotonous, but sometimes feels pointless. 

Please understand that I believe there is no greater calling then being a mother.  Mothers not only fulfill basic needs, but are given ample opportunity to teach every skill that children will need to be successful in life.  A mother’s charge is to teach what is right and wrong and other fundamental principles needed to be a decent, productive and useful human being.

But these lessons are not taught in quick easy sessions.  They are taught over a lifetime through hands-on experience, life’s lessons and from a degree earned at the University of Hard Knocks.  The rewards do not come often.  Sometimes mothers won’t know if what they’ve done today means anything until their children are adults.  

What does this have to do with mommy blogs?  Are Mormon moms really trying to portray their so-called “perfect life” in the blogosphere to gain status and power in their large circle of Mormon friends and family? The answer is simple: No!  

I think the biggest motivation these Mormon moms have is to show the world what they did today; to put their work on display and say, “Look at what I made!”

Those who don’t stay at home all day with children and instead work at a desk or in an office, or anywhere outside the home, for that matter, should understand the desire to be recognized for your work. If you work with a team and complete an important presentation, or make a big sale, or close a huge deal, you want your boss and your colleagues to pat you on the back and say good job!  Maybe you’ll even get a raise or a promotion for work well done.  Likewise, if you spend a couple weeks working on a presentation you eventually reach a point when you are finished.  The work is complete and you can see the fruit of that work.

As moms, we don’t have that.  We are never finished. We can change 10 poopy diapers in one day and the baby never says, “Gosh mom, you are so good at wiping my little bum. Thanks for your hard work!”  But mothers continue their work, day in and day out, sometimes with little to no recognition. 

There are milestones in motherhood when we feel like we accomplished something: like potty training, getting a child to sleep in their own bed, or weaning a child off the binky. But who is there to pat us on the back, give us a raise and a promotion?  No one really, until mommy blogs came about.

Here we have a medium where we can throw the perfect birthday party for our daughter, take pictures and blog about it to show the world how awesome everything looked after our hard work.  Some cynical person might look at that and say, “Gee, these mommy bloggers are always trying to paint such a rosey perfect picture of their life.”  But they are wrong.  We simply want people to see what we did, and to get acknowledged for it!  The comments section of the blog is what motivates these moms.  From here they get the encouragement, praise or even advice that they need to continue to do their jobs without going absolutely insane. 

In fact, if you scrutinize Facebook or any other social media site, you will see that they are driven by the underlying desire in human nature to be noticed, to be appreciated and to be acknowledged. Is it any wonder why Facebook has become so phenomenally successful? Not really. As human beings, we crave acceptance and appreciation. It is a part of our DNA, whether we admit it or not.

Yes, as Mommy Bloggers we may take pictures when everyone is dressed up and perfect, but perhaps it’s because that is such a rare experience and takes an astronomical amount of effort to get everyone looking perfect and smiling at the same time.

Maybe they aren’t the most popular of Mormon mommy blogs, but I’ve seen plenty with half naked kids after they just finished drawing a beautiful mural all over their bedroom wall with poop.  Is this our perfect life?  No, but it’s what happened to us today and we want the world, or at least the bloggernacle, to know that despite this awful thing we had to deal with today, we didn’t go crazy! We cleaned up the mess and everyone is happy again.  Then all our friends (and for some lucky few, a lot of strangers) can go comment on our blog and say how amazing we are for handling that situation so well.  We get credit, we get noticed and we get appreciated for our work that day.

What’s the allure of Mormon Mommy blogs?  That’s simple: It’s a much deserved pat on the back!

:::

Original article referenced: Buzzfeed article by McKay Coppins http://www.buzzfeed.com/mckaycoppins/mitt-romney-wants-to-follow-you-on-twitter

NewtToons

This was so funny, I had to share!  (From Mitt Romney Central)

Mitt Romney: Habitual Fixer

Utah Representative, Jason Chaffetz, on the campaign bus with Mitt Romney in Iowa. The air vents needed fixing. Mitt found the duct tape and fixed it.

Merry Christmas-No offense intended

To All My LIBERAL Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2014, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Conservative Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

 (borrowed from a friend's Facebook status.)

Occupy movement turning into the very thing they are protesting against

As reported on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,  The Occupy Wall street Movement already has it's own "Haves" and "Have Nots." While occupying Zuccotti park in Manhattan, the group has turned into the very thing they are protesting against by self segregating into an elitist section, and a ghetto section.  Very fascinating. My favorite part is the guy at the end who thinks there's a difference between "personal" and "private" property in regards to his iPad that he doesn't want to share. Private property should be shared, personal property shouldn't be shared. Funny!

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Ever have any doubts about greed and capitalism? - Must Watch!

In his book "Capitalism and Freedom" (1962) Milton Friedman (1912-2006) advocated minimizing the role of government in a free market as a means of creating political and social freedom.

An excerpt from an interview with Phil Donahue in 1979. (Still rings true today!)

The Occupy Protestors could learn a few lessons from my kids.

by R. Murdock

As I was watching the news and seeing the video footage of the unrest going on around the country and specifically in Oakland, something seemed vaguely familiar about the protestor’s behavior.  Then it hit me.  They reminded me of my kids!  At first I sympathized with their movement and even empathized with them.  But as the protests have dragged on without any specific goals, and as they’ve become violent and destructive, I have no more sympathy for them.  They are a bunch of adults throwing a group tantrum.  If they lived in my home, these are the lessons I would teach the so called 99%.

Lesson 1: My two-year old has recently entered the notorious tantrum stage, or terrible twos.  She is perfectly happy as long as she can eat candy all day long and watch Dora.  But if I take away the candy or turn off the TV, she throws a huge tantrum and is nearly inconsolable.  But I don’t get too upset.  After all, she’s only two, and after awhile she’ll learn that We don’t throw tantrums when we don’t get our way.

Lesson 2: I also have a six and eight year-old who get extremely upset anytime one gets to do something that the other doesn’t.  Whenever they eat, they assess their portion sizes or count every sliced piece of fruit to make sure that they have an equal amount.  If they discover that the other person has more than them, a big whine fest ensues about how life isn’t fair.  How do I respond?  With the same answer my mom gave me when I was a kid:

“Who said life is fair?”.

I hated that answer when I got it, and my kids don’t like it either.  But I’ve tried to teach them that throughout their entire life, they will constantly see people who have more of something than they do.  It may not seem fair.  But life isn’t meant to be that way. The sooner they accept that, the less disappointing their life will be.

Lesson 3: My eight year-old son loves to earn money.  He’s constantly looking for jobs around the house to earn a quarter here and there.  We’ve tried to teach our kids the value of hard work and entrepreneurship, and he’s the child that seems to fully embrace those concepts.  By working hard and saving, as well as coming up with various “business ideas” to sell things to kids in the neighborhood, he normally has a fair amount of change on hand to buy the things he wants.

 

This doesn’t make his little sister very happy.  In fact, she thinks it’s just not fair that he has money to spend when she doesn’t.  She wants me to just give her money. But whenever I ask her to do a chore, she refuses.  She doesn’t normally look for opportunities to make money like he does.  She would rather play dress-ups and Barbies than spend the day folding laundry, scrubbing the bathroom or washing the dishes.  And who can blame her?  She is only six after all!  Since she normally doesn’t have any change on hand to spend I explain to her that If you aren't willing to do the work (any work), you are not going to get paid. 

I’m assuming that these Occupy protestors were taught similar lessons in their own homes.  By now, they are all old enough to have learned that we don’t throw tantrums when we don’t get our way. Life isn’t fair.  If we want money, we need to be willing to work for it.  And another important lesson: we shouldn’t covet what someone else has.

I know that 14 million people are out of work in this country.  In fact, my husband lost his job when the economy came crashing down, too.  We almost went bankrupt and lost our house.  But we avoided our own financial meltdown by renting our house out, moving into my parent’s basement, starting a business and working every random job we could find.  We could be out there with those protestors with signs that read, “Death to Capitalism” and “We’re part of the 99%” But we don’t give our power away that easily. 

My husband has a degree, a lot of experience and has worked in management.  But when he could only find a job that paid $10 an hour, he took it.  It was not enough for us to even barely scrape by.  So we started a business. In the last three years since losing his job, we’ve managed to keep our house, avoid bankruptcy, pay off over $30k in debt and provide employment to other people.  Those things would never have happened for us had we pointed the finger of blame at others rather than work towards a solution. 

Are we mad at capitalism for putting us in that position? NO!  Capitalism saved us.  It provided the opportunity for us to recover.   We don’t have time to protest and whine about life not being fair. We are too busy working, providing jobs, paying off our debts and trying not to be a burden on society.

To these protestors I’d say: instead participating in a massive group tantrum by causing civil unrest, rioting, putting police officers’ lives in danger, destroying property and setting fires-they should be taking control of their lives. They should be using capitalism to their own advantage; to improve their own situation, whatever it may be.  Government can’t create jobs.  Yet, if these 14 million unemployed people tried to start their own businesses, surely a good percentage of them could succeed. It is totally possible. 

We are not wealthy. We are not part of the so-called 1% and we still live in my parent’s basement.  But I don’t covet what the rich have.  I didn’t earn their riches. They did.  I didn’t sacrifice, take risks and put in the hard work to get where they are.  But you know what? I’m willing to do what it takes to get myself in a better place.  And after all that we have sacrificed to pay off debt, build our business and create wealth, I would sure as heck not want any of the 99% saying they want an “equal share” of my hard earned money.  If they want it, they need to go out there and be builders, not wreckers.